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Telling the Children

When parents divorce, young children are especially hard hit by the breakup. The children’s lives are drastically and irrevocably changed, yet they have no voice in the matter. Going from a two-parent, one home lifestyle to shuttling between mom and dad’s separate households is a huge adjustment for them. Counseling and therapy are often recommended.

Experts advise parents to discuss with each other when and how they—together–will inform their children of the dissolving relationship. The recommendation is to explain, in an age-appropriate way, how parenting will work going forward, i.e., where the child will live and when the child will have parenting time with each parent. The goal is to make the children feel secure and wanted—and to reassure them that they are not the cause of the breakup.

Recognizing the potentially severe impact of divorce on children, today’s courts typically require divorcing parents to attend parenting classes as part of the separation process. These classes are intended to make the transition to two separate households as stress-free as possible for the children.

Still, sometimes after the split, one or both parents continue to involve their children in marital disputes. Ralls Law Firm includes directives in Parenting Plans to facilitate positive, healthy co-parenting.

Our Parenting Plans typically require that the parents:

  • do not to speak negatively about the other parent to the child;
  • are not to use the child as a messenger, and
  • are not to discuss adult issues with or in front of the child.

This is simple common sense, yet sometimes because of contentiousness or thoughtlessness, a black-and-white court order is required.

Our directives frequently become orders of the Court, dictating constructive conduct of the parties.

Richard Ralls of Ralls Law Firm can assist you in your parenting or support matter. Call us at 913.236.7260 or 816.421.4222. Licensed in Kansas and Missouri.